HERE comes December...

The last month of 2010 is finally here and appenrently 2010 won't let me chill for more than a week or two! I swear to God on the 31st at 23.59 I'll still be freaking the hell out just in case the roof collapses on my head...

I am just tired of being strong and constantly underpressure because just as Drizzy says "I Get Lonely TOO"...

Looking back to what I used to be and what I am now,I completely feel out of space like living someone else life following someone else path...Started as an insensitive type of person to a lovey dovey lover to end as an knocked down youngster unable (or not willing)to get back on my feets. I fucked with so many people that I can't even remember all their names , I ve played out with so many hearts that one day it was meant to get back to me! I had so much sex that I didn't even notice that I actually had a heart... I have kissed so many lips that I couldn't even making the difference with shaking hands...My heart,my body and my soul were never synchronyze,love was a fairy tale and sex was just a game...I had GREAT gaming time but it was just a game I might had have some kind of affection for some of my co-gamers , I guess!

...but then @ 16 I secretly felt in love , @ 17 recieved my first real kiss , @ 18 was the happiest person in Europe for a year already ,@ 19 I lost a friend but she was holding my hand,@ 20 she brought me back to life,@ 21 doubts and distance were starting to put her downn...I didn't do shit!@ 22 she left me....@23 I am waiting for her to come back to us,knowing that she is settling donw with somone else , knowing that she is moving forward ,knowing that in 2 weeks I ll be back after being gone abroad for a year and a half...

My phone is full of new blood but it just doesn't appeal to me really,after several dates and maybe some kissing it just get borring ,I guess once you drive a "Aston Martin" full option it is difficult to drive a "Aixam" even if it is also full option and willing to do well.

I truly believe that the love that we share was one of the kind with the type of feelings that never really die and can wake up at any moment for no reason but as lovely as it could sound I just don't give a damn about that cuz all that matters in the end is the person who stays not the "souvenirs" or the possibilities and probabilities!!!When the sun rise /comes down she the first person to come to my minds, when I m sad ,happy,hot or whatever she always come first.And sometimes when I think of her ,I wonder if sometimes she wishes his lips were mine or instead of his carresses it were mines or if she has ever prononced my name while having sex with him...Wondering if after all those months I am still "The Best She Ever Had".Wondering if deep down she thinks that things maybe different if I am around.I am fucked up ,I know it...

Even more fucked up or selfish because I don't even know how it could be after all this time.Could I still be good to her,loving and carring?What I know for sure is that I know the best and the beast of her and she still appeals to me...I cannot say that I am trully madly deeply in love with her right now but "She Is The ONE" to me and I guess that is what matters.The truth is since we've been over..."I Can't Let Go" but either she can until this day!

...but she is with him not me,slowly hitting the 6th month of togtherness and obviously enjoying it...Is she in "L.O.V.E" with him? I don't know,where is her heart at?Is it just good vibe and fun times or is she builting with him?Would she run after me if I was with someone else?Every moning I wake up thinking today might be the day I lost her to him and it is getting more and more frustrating to be away from her.It s like having my whole life on hold whilst hers is advancing.It is truly a KAMIKAZE mission that could end up at any moment...


Anyway ,if I had "One Wish" today wouldn't waste it on money ,clothes or career cuz I ll have that with her in my life no doubt cuz she pushes me to the top and makes me wanna be the best for myself and for her...SO I ll wish she gives us another go because we "Can't Be Friends",I'll sadly rather her being out of my life than us sharing a fake frienship full of lies and untold stories... If I can't have her,I'll force myself to want her no more...It's all or nothing!

...but after this year I am sure that I can't "Be without You" ....

She is my "Bad Habits" !

#CONFUSION#

Day 32 : Fighting Temptations ; He Still Loves Me

Sunday post...sunday love , sunday hopes ,sunday toughts...

Day 31: Yolanda Be Cool ,We No Speak Americano

50 Fashion Designers You Should Know

Bought this book @Urban Outfitter 2 weeks ago, I haven't fully read it because it's meant to be a gift but it's hella good if you like fashion or you just wanna have some general knowledge in Fashion...The illustrations are great and some of the info you collect by reading it can be surprising!

Urban Outfitter is full of great books ,I m gonna try to by them ALL!

MACY'S x Karl Lagerdfeld

After Lanvin for H&M , Valentino for GAP,...Here comes MACY'S x Karl Lagerdfeld for the up coming Spring!

Macy's is one of the biggest chain of department store in the US , I will definitely say that it is the US equivalent of Selfridges ROUGHLY...

Enough said I just hope the quality of the clothes will match the high status of the designer, 'cause I know the prices on the tags will matche.... Otherwise we may aswell just break our bank accounts and buy true items instead of upper crust "Made in China"...I am just saying!

Day 30: Jazmine Sullivan ;Lions, Tigers & Bears//In Love With Another Man

I could easily post 3 or 4 other Jazmine's songs but that will be a little too much I guess , so I have picked the 2 that are talking to me the most, for the moment...

The first one cause as crazy and confident as my ass could be I am a bit concerned and annoyed with what my heart is telling me because right now love is scary to me and not that appealling or easy breathy...

The second one because deep down eventhough I am scared I wish she could say that to him...one day!

PLUTOCRACY

PLUTOCRACY: "an american born fashion label that exudes luxury. Luxury is not a price point but an attitude . An attitude to detail. A craftsmanship that says; or gives the power to RULE"

Shout out to " THE MESSENGER BAG" aka Abigail for this refreshing discover.

PUTOCRAZY's moto says it all...

THANKSGIVING//KARMA

THANKSGIVING

Gotta be thankful for this year because although I have the feeling that I have lost a lot of myself/my life this year, I'am alive , I have food in my plate ,I have a loving family and incredible friends that would do anything to make me smile...

Today ,gotta remember that some people never let me down this year and God has never left my side for sure....

So for all those ups and downs,the laughs and the tears I just give THANKS to all those who have been there for me....

For the rest...KARMA comes back all the time!

Winnie

Behind every strong man or person I will simply generalize there is a WOMAN pushing and pushing! I don't really know what to except from this film regarding the actors and the objectivity on the historical facts but I will try my best to stay focused on the story itself and the way it's delivered!

....

Kouple 5

In 2010, it seems that no matter who you are ,how long you have been together and how much you be loving your significant other you just NOT good enough!

#SADNESS #WTF ...

Labrinth//Britain's got Music

Labrinth aka Timothy McKenzie is a 21 years old music genius from Hackney in London.He has collabored with Tinie Tempah and is signed to Simon Cowell's record label. All those aspects make me think that we have to fasten our seats belt and get ready for more!

I know summer time is OVA but today I was so cold that the only thing I could think of was this song...So here I am sharing it with you...

Bale de Rua//Live show

10/11/2010 @ The Peacock Theater in London, color full , joyful ,sensual...

A must see "again",the crew has been travelling the world and performing for 2 years now. I'd like to see them again,the show really worth the money (but i went for free anyway lol)...

Check them on youtube, the percussion are soul filling.No jokes!

Day 29: Duck Sauce ,Barbara Streisand

New iPod nano x Hex

I ain't a big fan of the new Nano but those straps really are the deal and make the device more interessting to me...

Passing Lady/Week 5

Passing Gentlemen/Week 5

THE Social Network

I went to see the film and for those who have a big entrepreneurial spirit this can't be highly inspirational...I won't comment on the ethical aspect but I will just say that sometimes you have to do what you have to do to reach your aim!It's not the movie of the years in term of the acts and what so ever but just for the story seeing this movie is "A MUST" especially if the 2.0 world appeals to you.

THE BEAST is FREEEE!

Day 28 : Mariah Carey ft Boys II Men ; One Sweet Day

Remembering you on this crazy day...Time is passing us by but your smile will always stay stuck in my head and my heart...

RIP

Day 27 :Robyn ; Dancing On My Own

Robyn is back in Jan 2011 for a full US / Canadian tour!LUCKY BASTARDS...

Kicktionary app 4 iPhones & iTouch

Day 26 : India Arie ; Brown Skin

Day 25 : Corinne Bailey Rae ; Is This Love

Is this love? Is it addiction? Is it attachement? Is it attraction? Is it a waiste of time?

I guess ,we all wonder what are the answer to those question every once in a while...However when it's love...You know it for sure!

Kouple 4

Passing Lady/Week 4

Passing Gentlemen/Week 4

Day 24 : Asa ; Jailer

Powerful singer , soulful songs and spirits ...Sadly underrated and under played!!!New album "Beautiful Imperfection" coming out soon on October 25th .


Stay TUNED

Day 23 : Avicii & Sebastien Drums ; My Feelings For You

Memorable DATE!

FUCK...

Day 22 : Alicia Keys ft Drake , Un-thinkable

I m on an emotional rollercoster ,loving her ain't nothing healthy for me right now...She is with somone else moving forward building something and I am the OUTSIDER,the PARASITE and this is killing me. She knows I m coming back but still she is starting a new story , and again I wonder how could we possibly have another chance if she is now commiting herself to someone else. I don't mind waiting for her but she keeps bloking herself and maybe she isn't realizing that she is again doing the same mistakes all over again cause she isn't commited at a 100% , she is in the middle of nowhere and on the other hand I know she is really feeling the new dude but is it cause she really likes him or because he is filling the void amazingly well and he is all about her or because it is easier?!?

I know where I am standing in this 'relationship' and I know what I want since day 1 ,but the doubts inside of me and the frustration keep growing...

How could she not let us be once again like for real after all this ,at least let us be , I don't wanna mary her or move with her tomorow ,all we could possibly do is taking things slowy , I feel like now we have all the answer to the equation , we know what went wrong and why!Oh yes ,I m not around yet but hey she is with someone else and that is fucked up.

We don't need to kiss and hold each other to flirt her and I , she can tell by the look in my eyes that I want her and I m not even trying to hide it and she is playing hard but then she runs back cause maybe she is affraid that she might get hurt again,I really don't know...Maybe she just doesn't want me NO MORE...


I know what I m about to say is completly childish but if she never comes back then I will wish her and I never happend to be cause the emptiness is so damn huge...it sounds childish but I m just being true to myself if she never come back to me I will always regret to have fall for her in the first place not because it would have been a waist of time but living with that pain is just unbearable.


I can t wait to be back , I need to be sure, I need to live her... I don't have any kind of plan I just wanna be around wait and see,that's it,...but to stand a chance I need her to be free, fully free,body ,mind and soul!

At a certain point , we gotta taste and test each other to know if it still feels good or not to be together! I can't live forever with doubts, yes I have been hurt but solving this story is a greater deal than fighting to keep my proud. She was my everything , shit happens doesn't it mean I have to give up straight away????

Kouple 3

Sexology 1 0 1 Ep 3

I am a VIRGO...but I wouldn't mind being LIBRA or PISCES...

Day 21: Musiq Soulchild , So Beautiful

Nothing to declare!

ps: skip to the 3:30 min

Just Sayin',...

Situation Ep 1

Last night,I was at F's...Nice evening,good food ,good good all the way. The game between us has started month ago, in fact the first day we ve met, I could felt the tension!Few months later here we are,...HERE!!!but Where???The moment when bodies take over to play the lovers game...

F gots it all ,nice ,sweet ,patient , gentle and hella gorgeous makes me laugh,makes me feel special but those hands on me aren't the one I want on me, those lips aren't really making my body shaking...I know it could be perfect if my heart was empty!!!

And here I am in the middle of this loft, holding somebody in my arms and it hits me again ,all of a sudden ,I am deeply lonely and sadness rushes over me!!!I can't even play the game anymore... I gotta escape from this...

That's the funny part (for me at least),I kissed F's forehead and said:"Sorry ,it's not you ,it's me,I gotta go...Sorry!". It sounds like a movie dialog...

It is kind of scaring me because normally I would have hit that ,I don't know what's wrong with me, I guess

All roads lead to Lady M

Day 20: Drake ,What If I kissed You

Can't stop playing this song,...Lately ,I ve been thinking of taking the train and knock on Lady M door's but it turns out that I am a big chicken. I am not feeling confident enough to do it but I know that I should really go there and check the temperature because that is what my heart tells me to do... Fuck my friends(lol), I ll go anyway,it is just a matter of time cause I can't hold this envy forever!

Drake's lyrics are so simple and so deep on this track,THUMBS UP 4 DRIZZY!

Francoise Nielly

I have just discovered the French artist Francoise Nielly and I have to admit that her work is just amazing. I like the way she uses the light and plays with the colors because it gives more life to the paint...WOW! I am now looking forward to go to one of her exibition...Untill then here is her official gallery.

Sexology 1 0 1 Ep 2

I am officially feeling HORNY...WTF!!!!Can I get between those two chicks?!?THE LAPDANCE...

MY Philosophy 1 0 1 Ep5

AMEN,now I have to live what I teach!!!

Be a real G ! part 3

I am in LOVE!!!No high heels just Jeez...humm that's a real G right here!!!

Short Film : New BOY

ENJOY!

The KOOPLES

Less than 2 years ago, the French brand has launched a" provocative" campaign based on pictures of hetero , homosexual and lesbian couples. Now the unisex brand ,is taking over and will be spreading the movement to Spain and the UK really soon,....Can't wait to see that!

Day 19: Babyface , The Loneliness

Just touch down in London Town and it strikes me I m lonely even thought my life is busy and I m surrounded by a lot of nice people my heart is empty when I arrived at the station I realized that no one was missing me unconditionally ,no one is waiting for me anymore!!!

I AM GUILTY of not letting anyone new in my life but the reality is that I don't wanna mess another person's life by adding a person to an unsolved equation. I don't wanna settle for less ,I wanna settle for love...

I miss being loved ,being someone's sunshine and I definitely miss having someone to call mine.

...

Looking by the window , it's raining(yeah yeah like in a good ol R"n"B music video!!!)my BB rings,I got a text :"I am glad u r bk ,i ve missed u baby!looking forward to c u"...

After 8 month of being around,I should maybe consider to put at least the poor F "on probation" in my head!!!

MY Philosophy 1 0 1 Ep4

... I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THOSE LINES BEFORE!!!!

Just Sayin',...

Day 18: Aaliyah

9 years already,here is my Aaliyah 's favorite songs

We Need A Resolution

I Miss u

Rock The boat

I Care 4 U

4 Page Letter

Are You That Somebody

Read Between The Lines

I refuse

The One I Gave My Heart To

Day 17:Birthday Sex , Jeremih

My Bday is coming up soon and I don't wanna act like a spoiled brat but this year I have everything that I want materially speaking or I guess I m just not fancying anything special....

SO apart from wishing peace to the world and food to the poorest,.... I'd like to have some quality time with Lady M...

BUT like serious business,I wanna spank that ass ,I wanna release all the frustration on her body, dirty talk and everything... I wanna feel her be in her make her mine!

Everyday , I dream of how I would handle her if she was willing to abandon herself to my arms....Cause for real feeling on the side Shorty is the best fuck I EVER HAD and if that is all I can get for now just like AK I'm READY!

Just Sayin',...

She told me today that she doesn't wanna play the game anymore...I didn't say shit but...I ain't playing no more I m just feeling her, I don't have any plan or hidden schedule ,I'm just feeling her , following my heart and my own flow...and I wish she could do the same with me, no matter the conclusion because I'm tired of being obliged to follow the rupture's rules and blablaba! I don't wanna rush her ,I don't even know if I could but I know she is building a wall between us because it is what she has to do...Why does she wanna protect herself from me?I am tired of interdiction , I just wanna let it flow to whatever I can get just to be sure...I don't want to be forgotten ,I don't want to be just the first one, I want to be her all cause at the end of the day the winner is always the one that make it to the finish line and I really want to be that somebody...

Since , I don't have her ,I got nothing to lose...

Passing Lady /Week3

Passing Gentleman /Week3

Gabby Sidibe For A Bobbi Brown Line?!?

Those past few months have been faboulous for Miss Sidibe and apparently it is not over because she is curently working with BOBBI BROWN to start her own make up line...Once again breaking the given ideas...

WAY TO GO GIRL!!!

Cr8ative Recreation Collection 2011

Kouple 2

Day 16: RDX- Bend Over ft CHINEY and D&G

GOTTA LOVE THAT ON THE DANCEFLOOR!!!

John Green//Looking For Alaska

Currently reading this book and this is sadly talking to me today!

THE 2.0 WORLD SUCKS

I swear to God I ain't crazy I am just in Love with this girl and yes I am a little sneaky... I am addicted to her and her being with someone else is just not helping my brave heart...being apart from her is really painful and adding to that a new lover....Oh lord!!!!

So , I stalk because I wanna know if the new dude is as "fresh as I am" if he is cute or whatever,and jeeeeeez it turns out that the guy is ugly real talk!!!The look of Mr new Man appease me few second then ,I kinda have to admit that he is still the one hitting the spot right now,the one who makes her laugh, the one that lay his body next to hers...and the ugly man turns himself into all I would like to be ,even if it is only for 24 hours.

I do tweet and I Facebook a lot but really those past few months networking has become more an investigation scene that a funny space to me... I am from those who always wanna who's in front of them who is on their way... I won't fight or battle against him I just wanted to know...

Sexology 1 0 1 Ep 1

Few weeks ago,I was on the dancefloor doing me with some friends and a girl approached me and said : ''Hey you ,I really like the way you dance, I can tell that you know how to fuck by the way you move''....

I guess it is just LONDON BABY!

Day 15: Chris Brown , Tyga ft Kevin Mc Call , DEUCES

Afer 2 month and ish I have finally bumped into the "LADY",but I t wasn t really what I was expecting from myself...For the first time after all those months an idea occured to my mind that maybe THAT WAS IT for sure,for th rest of my life!!!I mean nothing to expect anymore from her or even from myself...I was there with her but it seemed like my heart has stopped beating for her...

Or something like that!!!

Day 14: Drake , Find Your Love

I guess finding your love is the point of this blog,finding the answer and conclusion of this unfinishable story.I ll wait months cause I know how WE could be ! I ll let you fall and taste whatever if it is what it takes to get you back...

Just Sayin',...

Beats By DRE

I ve tried those few weeks ago and believe me MUSIC sounds better with those!You can physically feel the beats and for a music addict like me it is a must!I m looking forward to purchase my beats!

Thank you Dr DRE!

Just Sayin',...

Passing Lady /Week2

Passing Gentleman /Week2

Mandela day

Yesterday was Nelson Mandela 's birthday and I had the chance and amazing opportunity to be invited by the the high commissioner of South Africa and Bonnie Greer at The British Museum as a VIP guest(yes baby!!!). That has been a great inspiration for me and a pleasure to get a deeper sense of Mandela's fight for freedom and lust for life but also to discover a lot of Afrikaans artists...

I could really get used to that kind of life!